Life sucks..lol

 Had quite a mental breakdown today.

Life's been tough.

I got to know about GitHub. Need to work on that.

Love my tutor from Computing. He's really supportive.

Got a 16/15 on my computing project 1.

Will probably get a 12/20 for my calculus midsem. I need to lock in.

I am getting worse at everything. People still think I'm good at it. I'm not.

It's traumatising. Felt a little sad. Really sad. Everyone's getting internships. Everyone's getting a job. I am falling behind. As always.

I tend to fail at stuff. A lot. Even though everyone thinks I'm doing well. I'm not.

Daksh gives me the "I didn't study at all idk how I got full marks" typa toxic vibes tbh.

He got an 18/20 on the midsem. Good for him. I like to see people winning. But I wanna see myself winning too. Just once. Just once.

The sky was violet today. Took a walk with Daksh. He's the only fine friend I have, but I still don't fw him that much. He high on pleasure from relationships. I..suck.

Moving on.

ALTIC interview went well. Destroyed it.

Applied to the SRCC Committee.

Applied for an Events officer thingy at Uni.

Might get rejected from that.

Gordon Ramsey's scrambled eggs recipe is fire.

Had quite a depressive episode today. I'M...idk

Never mind.

16 may 2025 23:06 a.m

Nothing of much significance happened. My stomach is upset. I'm not doing well in calculus.

Feel...hollow.

There's a void.

Okay come on it's not that deep. Or maybe it is. Well..idk.

I made the Optimal Market Making project though. Gonna meet Gabriele and discuss about it on Wednesday. Need to read the book he recommended. The Intelligent Investor. That's what it was.

Yeah that's it

There's sorrow. A lot of it. Don't know what to do with it.

Nothing to do with it.

but...

Good night ji